What Do I Do When My Husband Runs Away to the Other Woman Again
"The trust I had for him was so depression from the outset."
"I started out my last relationship as the 'other woman' and the trust that I had for him was so low from the start. We were with each other all the time and constantly keeping tabs on one another when we weren't together. I made no time for my friends and isolated myself from everything. I went from being confident and happy to embarrassingly insecure in myself and my human relationship. So if you're thinking about it, just don't practice information technology. In that location'south and then many other people out there and y'all should absolutely consider starting a relationship where you lot can trust the other person entirely because how it all started will always exist in the back of your head." — Redditor kathyboh
"I actually should accept recognized the pattern…"
"I had this situation twice. Both times, the person had their human foot out the door already when I met them and I honestly didn't know one was in a human relationship initially — they but never talked about their meaning other. We were only friendly, still, when I learned.
"Both relationships ended with me existence cheated on. I'd like to say it's something I deserved falling for it twice, I really should have recognized the pattern, but the circumstances at the showtime of both relationships were so unlike I hadn't put together that it was the aforementioned thing.
"I was very trusting, blindsided both times, simply I can take 'beingness too nice' as a personality trait." — Redditor brandnamenerd
"It very rarely works out."
"While there wasn't physical overlap, the guy kept me 'on concord' for four months while he was deciding what to do with his electric current girlfriend of 7 years. When I said I was washed waiting, that it was starting to experience gross and crook-y, he immediately dumped her and started dating me.
"He concluded up being resentful and hateful towards me (I think it's partially because his guilt over how it began) for well-nigh of the three years we had together.
"After him dismissing multiple desperate pleas for couples counseling, I got sick of his beliefs and ended up leaving him for another guy (ironically). He made my life hell because of it.
"Don't do it. It very rarely works out." — Redditor skydart
"We've been married for 16 years."
"I was technically the other woman just...
"Nosotros met online in the late '90s in a chat room. We were friends then online dating each other but not monogamous. He was in a relationship when nosotros met. I did a lot of casual dating. He moved out of the place he shared with his girlfriend before we met face up to face. When we met face to face we became monogamous. About half-dozen months later he moved to my state.
"After he moved out she would email him 'I wanna be/wish I could have been your (commoncoitusy)' for about two years every time she would get hammered.
"We've been married 16 years." — Redditor commoncoitusy
"I did worry about it a lot when we were first together…"
"I started every bit the other adult female. He got a divorce (started within a month of united states confessing our feelings for each other), did not engagement while he was getting divorced, went to counseling with his then-wife to tell her he was not interested in being married to her.
"He behaved as honorably as possible without lying to himself, me, or her, then I assumed that he cheated for the reason he said he did, which was that he was more in dear with me than with her. I did worry near it a lot when we were first together, but he always behaved with transparency and integrity, so I came to trust him. We now have two kids and are married." — Redditor mjheil
"I think his eye has strayed."
"When I found out I was the other woman, I told that cheater I would be the only woman. Period. We've been married 27 years.
"If I'one thousand being honest, over the years I think his heart has strayed. He was in the Navy and I know he cheated on his ex-wife, even earlier he cheated with me.
"He'south never given me a reason to suspect adultery. I know he'southward had harmless crushes and fifty-fifty a 'work married woman' simply that never much bothered me because he always remained devoted to me. We got to exist actually skilful friends with the work married woman. He never stayed out late at night, never hid his telephone or emails, never exhibited whatever 'cheater' beliefs. If he cheated and I don't know well-nigh it, I don't care. I'm not going to go await for trouble. I'chiliad not jealous or suspicious past nature.
"We made our marriage our #one priority. No matter what we will remain husband and wife till expiry practice united states of america function. Divorce is not an choice." — Redditor Maxwyfe
"We both learned valuable lessons in that ordeal…"
"I was technically the 'other woman' and sometimes I still feel terrible near it. At the time, I felt justified because she was a s----- person and treated him like absolute garbage. She stole from him, she lied, she was the literal incarnation of the 'crazy girlfriend' before her boyfriend even began wandering away from her. He wanted then desperately to stay with her, because they'd known one another since kindergarten, but equally time went on he began realizing how toxic she already was and how much worse his affair with me was making it.
"Twelve years later we're married with a baby on the fashion and I don't worry about it at all. We both learned valuable lessons in that ordeal and I don't await that he'll pull the aforementioned thing now as we're older, more mature and the circumstances are quite different." — Redditor CycloneCowgirl
"He realized he was in too deep with both of united states of america."
"I was unknowingly the 'other adult female' for a year and he says during that year I became his #1 and his ex (who he was with for six years) started to get the 'other woman.' I thought they had an inappropriate ex relationship while nosotros were dating, but nosotros became exclusive and so labeled the relationship and the whole fourth dimension he was with his ex.
"They broke up right before nosotros met, just got dorsum together while nosotros were casually seeing each other. He realized he was in too deep with both of us, but couldn't pause it off with either of u.s..
"It finally came to a caput when we met at an event and I discovered the ex wasn't an ex merely another current gf. I dumped him on the spot and went no contact, merely he tracked me down and after a few months of talking and work we got back together. He explained during that twelvemonth I went from the other to the principal. He had a lot of trouble letting the ex go, but said I was the one he wants to be with and he'd practice whatever it takes.
"We had some issues even later nosotros got back together until they went no contact six months later. I definitely have worries, almost women he knows and nearly this ex if he should ever run into her once more, though less and then with the ex since it seemed like a very codependent only miserable relationship.
"I cease my mind from wandering by 1) communicating with my bf about anything that bothers me (this whole experience actually left information technology's marking), calmly and early on on, and 2) this is a piece of work in progress merely controlling my imagination. The worst has already happened and I survived, if information technology happens again I'd survive." — Redditor win2day
"I pursued him."
"I was the other woman only briefly. I was likewise the i who instigated it, I pursued him, not the other way around. 2 days afterwards we had sex he bankrupt up with his ex, who he was going to break up with anyhow (which sounds like a convenient excuse just he has proof of his intentions) and we accept been together ever since. He told me almost his girlfriend the day he broke upwardly with her and acknowledged that he was coming into this with a strike against him. I have e'er been worried about it happening over again, but he has been very transparent and agreement of this fear.
"He makes me and so unbelievably happy and I'm and then glad I met him, which makes the anxiety worth it." — Redditor slutsofsunsetvalley
"It got better with fourth dimension."
"Get-go off, I don't really recall of myself as the 'other' woman, at least in the cheating sense; nosotros never did anything physical while they were dating, I didn't even know he had a girlfriend for the beginning month of knowing him. However the ex volition tell the whole world that he cheated on her with me for years, which is stupid because I had only known him for a few months before he broke up with her.
"Anyways at the commencement of our human relationship, I was super insecure almost our relationship. I'm insecure about everything, and his past with leading me on, telling me that he loved me and non her merely never breaking up with her for 2 months and such didn't help with my insecurities. I was constantly worried I wasn't good enough and I didn't deserve him. I was worried that she would come up dorsum and dispense him back into that toxic relationship. I was worried that on the nights we didn't spend together, she'd come over and they'd take sex activity. The list continues. In my defense he dumped her after the first calendar month of coming together me, but called him and begged and manipulated him to let her movement in with him because their only issue was the distance, and he caved ... it broke my heart.
"All I can say is it got better with time, we spend many nights apart and for the well-nigh role I don't worry virtually it. Sometimes my mind will wander and I wonder if she's at his house with him, etc.
"I worry that he will detect someone else when he switches jobs and he'll put me through the same bs and craven out of breaking up with me. Only after a while, these worries have occurred less and less. I exercise feel similar he loves me and I do feel like he'll be honest with me if he does end up finding someone. I usually endeavour to go along myself busy when I'm alone and then that I don't think about things and let my heed wander and run thousands of different scenarios of him screwing me over in the terminate." — Redditor withyouilostmyself
"I never stopped wondering. I never trusted him."
"So, without knowing it I was 'the other woman' in the very typical fashion. He told me that his ex was bat-s--- and would show upwardly to his firm randomly. Long story short I found out that I was the ane he cheated on her with. By her finally contacting me on Facebook telling me everything. They lived together, zip was wrong, he told her he was at a friends house only thinking things over. He told her that yes, i was a girl. But I had a boyfriend that he heard having sexual activity with every night while he slept on the couch, fifty-fifty though it was him that the noises were coming from.
"I never stopped wondering. I never trusted him. And rightfully and then, turns out while I was visiting him once a week (because he was on brake in the armed forces) bringing him home cooked meals, cartons of cigs, drinks, snacks — annihilation to become him through the week — he was cheating on me. With not one, not two, non five Simply Vi OTHER WOMEN.
"When I caught him his excuse was he had been planning on proposing to me and asking other girls for help. I used his phone business relationship to see what he was really doing. He lived with me. He swore to my mother nothing happened.
"Ladies, trust your gut. If you take a dream of him cheating — he probably is." — Reese1993
"When we hit the one year anniversary, they had been together almost six months."
"I was 'the other woman' for my ex. Spent near of our relationship existence worried that she would leave me for someone else. And she did. Nosotros're nonetheless all-time of friends simply when we hit one twelvemonth anniversary they had been together almost 6 months. That was kinda painful to behold." — Redditor Karuta
"You start with the flaws starting time."
"I was the other woman. He was in a six-year relationship. I instigated knowingly, although very drunkenly. We became very practiced friends who also slept together. He would ask me about how to prepare his clearly failing relationship, which he wasn't emotionally ready to finish (she was his first everything). I would give advice, merely prod and ask why he was all the same with her.
"Gradually, I vicious hopelessly in love, despite assuming it would never happen to me. I told him and he confessed the same. I moved away for an internship later on that week. I wrote him a heartbreaking good day letter which spelled out my feelings and wishing him all the all-time in his hereafter endeavors. They bankrupt up a calendar week later for reasons unrelated to me. He came crawling back to me and I told him he should f--- effectually while I'm gone and effigy out what he wants. I was hedging my bets he wouldn't detect anyone better than me for him. He slept with 15 women that yr. V of them were throwing themselves at him for relationships. And I was right. He came dorsum to me because none of those girls were right for him.
"One of the few benefits of starting a relationship every bit the other woman is you start with the flaws get-go. You know they're a cheater and they know yous're willingly complicit. Y'all run across the mastery of their lying and the way they manipulate the room. He knew I was juggling iii other men on the side (I wasn't in a serious relationship, but none knew well-nigh any of the others except for him). For the first fourth dimension in any relationship I've always had, I can be completely honest, because he will non judge me for it.
"We've been together for several years. In the beginning I was insecure about him non leaving her for me — was I not better than she was? I came to terms with information technology when I realized he was floundering because he had fallen victim to the sunk price fallacy. I trust him completely. I know he's got my back the way I accept his. That being said, fidelity is not paramount to the relationship. My cocky-esteem isn't contingent on whether or non he is faithful to me, considering I know he is with me for more than reasons than just my practiced looks and awkward charm. Additionally, I have the Bubbling philosophy of if you love something, let it go, if it comes back to y'all, it's yours. So if he does exit me for another woman, I estimate he was never mine in the first identify." — Redditor pecanpode
"I wish information technology didn't start the way it did."
"It's really tough. I trust my boyfriend, I really do. But there is that nagging vox in the back of my caput sometimes that says I'm an idiot. The way we started certainly wasn't ideal, I regret a lot of it just I love him. I wish information technology didn't start the manner information technology did, simply it led us to the relationship we have today and I always remind myself of that when I get that feeling. He loves me, and I love him. What he did was bad, and I was bad too in participating in information technology, simply information technology'southward not who we are. We made a terrible decision and I know based on the guilt we felt that information technology's not something either of united states of america would want to do again." — Redditor britneyspearce
"He was merely trying to teach her a lesson near taking him for granted."
"Horrible. He didn't mention it at all, we hung out and texted all the time, had a lot of fun together, then blocks me 1 solar day on Instagram and doesn't telephone call or text me back.
"Turns out he had a girlfriend all this time and he was just trying to teach her a lesson about 'taking him for granted' and then he ignored her for 3 months while he dated me. She doesn't know he went off and dated other people I bet since I establish her IG account and they seem actually happy and she posts all these things defending her human. He wasn't actually all that, and I feel horrible considering as a girl, I would desire to know if my bf of 4 years was pulling some shady stuff like that, only she also doesn't seem like the blazon to listen to some random girl message her on IG.
"Felt horrible to feel played like that though." — Redditor BebeGene
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Source: https://www.insider.com/i-was-the-other-woman-reddit-2018-5
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